It’s been nearly a year since I reached my target weight at slimming world and over a year since I wrote about my body confidence and weightloss. I thought I’d do a little update on how it has gone since then as that was a hard post for me to write but it’s been good to look back on. The last few months my weight has been creeping up. I get a little panicked and those feelings can be a little suffocating, like it will get out of control and I’ll be seen as the big girl again and I don’t know what to do about it.
I knew when I reached target that it would be so easy to slip back into bad habits, to stop eating the right things and to stop exercising but my attitude to food had changed so drastically I managed to stay on track. Even over Christmas I did ok, I knew I never wanted to go and put the weight back on. Then we had a month back in March when Lucas was ill with some awful virus that just went on and on and it threw everything off. I was eating whatever was easy and because we weren’t even going to school there was no exercise whatsoever. I stopped going to my group even knowing that I was putting more weight on. I struggle to find the time to go to exercise classes anyway but they stopped too.
For at least a month I’ve been dithering around eating healthy but without really committing. I’ve been saying I’m going to start exercising regularly again without actually getting on with it. When I actually weighed myself, which I’ve avoided for a while, I was getting close to a stone over my target weight. Knowing how hard it was for me to lose that last stone I was pretty annoyed with myself but at the same time sometimes life just gets in the way. No point feeling guilty for it now, it’s just time to start afresh.
My consultant at Slimming World always used to say to us, ‘go back to basics’ when we’d gone off track. If someone new joined the group she would ask us for our tips to keeping it going and the first thing I said was always plan your meals and write down everything you’ve eaten – even if it’s bad. So last week I did just that, I went through my recipe books, planned all out meals wrote my shopping list and stuck to it 100%. Let’s face it, I know what to do, I know I shouldn’t be buying a massive loaf of fresh bread when we have pasta and I know I can’t keep buying pizza for tea but the stubborn part of me thinks, why shouldn’t I when that’s what I want to eat. Stupid attitude but there you go.
On top of that I’ve started doing yoga at home with YouTube videos – I’m trying to do it every night, even a little bit and hopefully I’ll be able to keep it up. I read this article yesterday for National Yoga Day and it pretty much summed up how I feel about yoga. I never thought I’d be someone who went to a yoga class because you imagine them as these young, fit, super flexible people, I thought people might laugh at me or I just wouldn’t be able to do it. My friend took me along to her class and it was the complete opposite of what I thought it would be. Firstly, it wasn’t about fitness or strength or even flexibility, everyone just does the best they can and I was surprised at what I could actually do when in the right environment. No one watches you or looks out to see it you’re hitting that perfect pose, it isn’t about that at all. Surprisingly it does start to spill out into all aspects of your life – I can’t claim that I always feel zen, most mornings are a testament to that, but it does help me in other ways, I have more energy, I sleep better and it definitely improves my mood. My husband has even started giving it a go and it’s a great encouragement to roll out the mat rather than just lazing on the sofa.
I was going to say I’m back to it but it isn’t really that at all – it isn’t a fad, it is just that this is how I want my life to be. Eating healthy, staying active and letting myself have the little treats (and wine) here and there. It isn’t just about weight loss, it has always been about feeling happier in myself.