Today is the day you turn four years old. This birthday is quite exciting as you are so aware that it is your birthday, for the first year you know that it is going to be your day. After a year of going to friend’s parties you have waited patiently for your turn right at the end of the school year. You tell people that you are three and soon you will be four, followed up with, ‘when I am four I will go to big school’, I hope you realise that doesn’t happen immediately and you aren’t whisked away on your big day. It’s lovely to feel your excitement though, how much you love telling us you are now a big boy and you imagine that you will grow bigger as soon as you turn four. Each year your birthday’s have just become more and more fun.
We are going out today so we had some celebrations yesterday with a rainbow cake and some fantastic presents from family. I love seeing your reactions to things now, some things you open and your face lights up! You are asking us to play with your new toys and I think favourites so far are the lightsaber and playdoh.
Every year you grow and change so much but as you get older the changes get more subtle. It is only when I look back on the letter I wrote you at on this same day last year, as you turned three, that I can see how much older you seem to us now. When I wrote that letter you were a few weeks off starting pre-school and as I write this you are a few days off starting school. All your new school shirts and trousers are hanging in your wardrobe and I have a little pile of name labels ready to go on them. Your very first pair of school shoes are in their box, all shiny and new just waiting for that day you step into your new classroom. As emotional as I feel about that day you are just brimming with excitement which makes it easier for us. I know that you will have a fantastic time at school, you make friends so easily and love having those people around you.
One of the most amazing things to watch over this past year is how you have grown into your role of big brother. It is something that has been slowly developing but the last few months you really have become an incredible brother to Boo and Bear. They want to do everything that you do and follow you everywhere, for the most part you are happy for them to do this and you show them far more patience than you do anyone else. You look out for them and always share your treats with them, making sure neither is left out. You are so close to them and for all the squabbles there is so much love between the three of you, it is lovely to sit back and watch you giggle together.
This last year has maybe been the most challenging yet, you hit the three-nager stage full force and with all the changes and your brothers getting older it has just meant a difficult year for us all. You continue to be incredibly stubborn and maybe the most contrary three year old I know, yet you are so loveable all those tough moments are forgotten quickly. I know there have been days this year that you have driven me to question everything about my parenting and yet I can’t even think why now. At the time I worry that I’m getting it all wrong then you’ll have a good day and it all feels right; it is just part of motherhood and part of us learning more about each other.
As you are maturing I can see you coming out of that stage and my happy little boy is shining through more and more. You really are the most special little boy, you wear your heart on your sleeve and I hope that everyone gets to see the very best of you. As a friend once told me, you dance to the beat of your own drum, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact I think it might be one of your very best traits, along with your hair! I hope you always keep that individuality that makes you Lucas, you are always willing to be whoever you want to be no matter what anybody thinks. I am fiercely proud of you; I look at you and feel so truly happy that you are my son. I hope you enjoy your birthday, I promise we won’t sing Happy Birthday too often (I know you don’t like it) and as usual we will have cake for breakfast!
Happy Birthday Sweetheart