Making Friends

November 10, 2012


I have been the first of my group of friends to have a baby; I was 27 when Lucas was born at which time none of my close friends had any children or even the signs of one on the horizon. We recently moved back to our home town and it has been lovely being closer to our friends and family. They have been great at adjusting to our new addition and in some ways it is just business as usual. We didn’t go out much anyway, and our friends will still come round for dinner. They are all great with Lucas; one of James’ friend even spent the weekend at our house when I was away at my best friends hen do. They come along with us on little trips out; they’ll quite happily eat out with us even when we have to go to family friendly restaurants. Of course there are things that have changed, we can’t decide to go out at a moment’s notice; a night out has to be planned months in advance and I will generally start yawning at any point past 10 pm. However, I really appreciate that they have all just got stuck into our new family life and hopefully there will be some babies in the future.

In the meantime, especially now I’m at home full time with Lucas, it would be nice to have some mummy friends.  As great as our friends have been, they all work full time and it would be lovely if Lucas had more children to play with. We go to a couple of parent and toddler groups but it’s so much more difficult meeting new people now than it ever was when I was younger! As soon as Lucas is out his pushchair he is off without a care in the world and happily plays on his own or watches the other children. I’m generally chasing round after him making sure he isn’t either stealing someone’s toy while their back is turned or eating the Play Mobil figures so there isn’t much time to have a chat with the parents. We are all the same, I just about manage to say hello and introduce myself and Lucas and then our children go their separate ways and that’s it.

We moved around when I was a girl so I’ve been to a few different schools. When I was younger I made new friends relatively easy. Maybe it reveals more about my insecurities but I feel a bit like the new kid at school when I start a new parent and toddler group. There is always some parents who know each other…it can seem difficult to approach and infiltrate these groups! At my first one a child minder took pity on me and came to chat to me. Now I’m starting to recognise people and remember their children’s names. I went to Read and Rhyme at our library and was thrilled when I recognised a mum from my parent and toddler group; I could actually say hello to someone! It’s great chatting to parents in your area because you get all the best tips about which places are baby-friendly and which groups are worth going to. I feel like I need chance to settle in as much as Lucas does!  As the weeks have gone on I’ve been able to chat to some lovely mums. We have realised all our little ones will be in the same year in school which is nice to think they could stay friends for a long time.  I love that I can feel free to talk them about nappies or tantrums without boring them. My old friends are amazing; I grew up with them and they know everything about me but I’m excited about making friends along with Lucas.

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