My School Boy

October 22, 2015


As we come to the end of our first half term I’m thinking more about what it is like to have a school aged boy when the last month or so has been a total roller coaster of emotions. If I had wrote this post a couple of weeks ago it would be completely different. I hadn’t accepted that it was time for me to let go, I was struggling to come to terms with Lucas spending the majority of his day in school, I was feeling a bit glum about the whole thing. It wasn’t the same for Lucas, thankfully he loves school and happily goes in every day but I was still feeling anxious. I never thought I would be one of those mums, upset that her little boy was growing up, worrying about every little thing, I was in danger of becoming irrational over the smallest things.

Somewhere over the last few weeks that has changed and I feel like a weight has been lifted. I spent so much of his time in nursery worrying about the leap up to Reception, he’s my August baby and I wasn’t sure he would be ready. Each parents’ evening they would tell us how they struggled to get him to do a structured activity that involved writing, colouring, counting. He was the same at home, any time we suggested anything that he viewed as formal learning he just completely refused. I knew the battle they were up against, everything had to be on his terms.

Somewhere along the way all of that has changed. I don’t really know what has made him finally turn the corner on that one but suddenly he is eager to write, to draw, to tell us things, to point out his letters and numbers. Maybe it was just he needed that little extra time to mature, to be sure that he could give it a go and find the confidence to at least try. As time goes on he tells me more and more about his days in school and I get little clues into his world there. As we walked home yesterday he told me the lampost was a cylinder, all these little signs that he is taking in new information. My heart aches a little when I see the look on his face as he tells me something new, when he points out a letter he has seen on a sign and he is so proud to show me what he has learnt. I wasn’t sure we would ever reach that stage with him. I can tell he is excited to show us these things and I hope he is the same in school.

I love that he has suddenly become engaged and I know a lot of that is down to the school. They seem to have a very warm and secure environment for the children and I don’t sense that there is too much pressure. We don’t get given much homework, something that I’m sure would drive some parents mad but for me it is perfect. Lucas has a reading book and a little envelope of words and we do them as often as we can. I’m just not willing to sit down and do work with him every night when that time is for him to play with his brothers and listen to his favourite stories at bedtime. I want this sudden love of learning to stick around, he doesn’t need to be overloaded at this age.

One whole half term done and each and every day he goes in with a smile on his face. I don’t even get a backward glance when he goes through those doors. I can see how much it is changing him and moulding him into the school boy he is going to be. He laughs away with his friends and chases round after them in the playground before school and he seems so carefree, so innocent I just want to stop right here and enjoy it all. This age is really something special, it is truly incredible to take that step back and watch them negotiate their own world without you in it. The beginning of school is the the start of trusting them to keep going with what you have done for the last four years. It’s the hardest thing ever to hold your tongue and trust that they will choose the right way and to hope that when they don’t they learn from it.

I feel like I’ve wasted parts of the last few weeks being anxious when I could have been celebrating the way my boy is growing. I could kick myself and I wish I could go back and really feel confident about this new start. As always, he goes above and beyond what I expect of him and I hope this is the last time I make that mistake. School is giving him something that I can’t – he has that extra independence and the chance to make some of his own decisions. It seems to have changed him in so many little ways that I couldn’t explain to anyone but when I think about him I can tell. He has grown up, in just a few short weeks he has been filled with a new energy. I can picture him now as he comes out of school, loaded up with his bags and trailing his coat on the ground, glue on his jumper, shirt un-tucked and a bright smile on his face. I couldn’t imagine these days when he was a tiny baby and it is surreal now it is happening. It is strange and brilliant all at the same time, what a funny month this has been and what an amazing one too.


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  • Lauryn

    So glad that Lucas is enjoying school and that you’re able to relax a bit more about it! I know my Dylan is an August baby too and is the youngest in his preschool class…I worry how he’ll be in reception next year, but so far he loves school! I am definitely embracing the fact that the boys love school and homework as I know it won’t be long till they are avoiding it! 😉 Hope you have a lovely term break next week! xx

    October 22, 2015 at 10:47 am Reply
  • notmyyearoff

    It’s such a hard journey for us and I don’t think you’ve wasted it. It’s just a big learning curve that took me by surprise too. I felt so sad that he was joining the big wide world and on days when he said he didn’t want to go I so wanted to keep him at home. He sounds like he is loving it though and it’s so cute to listen to them talk about what they’ve learnt isn’t it? I definitely feel very ready for half term holidays though!

    October 22, 2015 at 11:58 am Reply
  • Kerri-Ann

    Aww I’m so glad that he has settled in well. Sounds like you’ve had the same start as us with him being a little less forthcoming initially. Thankfully all this has changed now and he is very much enjoying his work. Enjoy your half term holibobs x

    October 22, 2015 at 1:35 pm Reply
  • Natalie

    This post made me feel emotional, my big girl started in September and it really hit me hard too. I still feel quite anxious about it all. I am pleased Lucas has settled in. Enjoy the half term Xxxx

    October 22, 2015 at 6:11 pm Reply
  • mummyofboygirltwins

    Ahhhh SO glad he has settled well – such good news 🙂 Have a super week off together! He will love being around you all again. Glad he has taken to school well being such a little one! Mine will be the eldest when they start so very different. Lovely post xx

    October 22, 2015 at 6:44 pm Reply
  • The Reading Residence

    It’s so lovely to hear how well he has settled in and how quickly he’s growing and learning. It does amaze me how much they learn in Reception. My girl’s Year 1 now, and it feels like she’s been a school girl forever. It’s funny how you adjust, especially as I really didn’t want her to start school. Hope you all have a lovely half term x

    October 22, 2015 at 7:35 pm Reply
  • Katie @mummydaddyme

    Ah I know how worried you were about him Hayley but it sounds like he is doing absolutely amazingly. Mads really feels like she has grown up loads in just a few short weeks- it’s crazy. I hope you all enjoy half term together! x

    October 22, 2015 at 9:29 pm Reply
  • Donna

    I think I have come to this stage now too. Like you the last month and a bit has been full of emotion and it’s been tough for all of us at times – we’ve spent it exhausted! But LP is definitely a school girl now too and it’s great watching her learn x

    October 22, 2015 at 9:48 pm Reply
  • Julia @ Rainbeaubelle

    He has settled in so well hasn’t he? All that worry is only natural and there won’t be a time we don’t worry about them I’m sure, but what a reassurance to see he has really come into his own like that. I’m so pleased to hear how much he loves school and you’re right about the homework! X

    October 24, 2015 at 11:04 pm Reply
  • SArah Christie

    Hayley this is so so beautiful, I felt like this with both the boys for school and then with Jack for high school, It’s our job as a parent to worry, we cant help it. But isn’t it wonderful to see them negotiate all these new challenges with confidence that shows you have done you job so very well. I am so glad Lucas has settled so well it is lovely see see kiddies excited about learning x

    October 27, 2015 at 9:47 pm Reply
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