My Three Year Old {The Ordinary Moments}

April 12, 2015


Liverpool Central Perk

I don’t think that anything could have prepared me for how difficult parenting is. I had no idea how tired I would be those early months, how my emotions would run riot and how much I would worry over looking after this tiny little person. I couldn’t have known how completely he would change my life, how I would look at everything differently and how he would make me better person. I never imagined that over three years later I would still find it every bit as challenging as I did the first night I brought him home. It is still just as emotional; there are things he does that make me want to scream, moments when I have to take a minute before I can carry on, times when he makes me question everything about myself. Then he can bring tears to my eyes just by the simplest of things, by stroking my cheek, softly telling me he loves me and smiling when I say it in return.

The truth is I have found the last few months with Lucas incredibly difficult, he is strong-willed, determined, stubborn and independent. He wants to do everything on his terms and now he can express himself more and more he has no problem letting us know exactly what the problem is. Sometimes I think he doesn’t even know why he does it but it is just in him to push me on everything, to test the boundaries and to seek control. He is sensitive and takes in so much more than he lets anyone see but he will always stand up for himself and others when he wants to. 

It hasn’t been an easy year for him, there is no doubt that having two little brothers has been difficult. There are times when he hasn’t been given the attention he deserves and moments that I wish I could have done things differently. He is trying to find his place in our family and in the wider world. He doesn’t seem to lack confidence yet he seeks it often, he needs a hand to hold and a familiar face. We went through the terrible twos but they have nothing on the threenager! I have never questioned myself more as a parent as I have this last few months. I’ve never felt more like I’m getting it wrong even when I know I am doing the best I can. I wish I could give him more time, more of myself but as much as I try most days I can’t.

That’s why those moments that come along when I have the chance to give Lucas that time are extra special even when we are doing something completely ordinary. Yesterday I took him with me into Liverpool; me and my mum were meeting up with some of the lovely ladies of my family and I thought it would be a good chance to spend some time with him. When we got there a little early I asked him what he’d like to do and he said ‘Go to a cafe’ then told me a little story how he had dreamt about a cafe, when he was asleep. These little things he comes out with always makes me smile. We took him to Central Perk, which I love and managed to get on the orange couch which I loved even more. Lucas stripped out of his jacket and tried to take off his shoes, we had cake and tea (juice for Lucas) and talked, I just love how we can go out now and pass the time by having a conversation. We met up with my Nana, Auntie and cousin for some lunch and he was just perfectly behaved. It was a true joy to be out with him, to talk to him without interruptions, to really see all the changes in him as he suddenly seems really very grown up. We wandered off to the Disney shop for a treat before we came home.

This was something I did a lot as a child, we always met up with family in Liverpool and it always made me feel quite special to be out with the grown ups and to get all the attention. Lucas is just the same, he loves all the cuddles and kisses and he kept making us all hold hands in a big line. This age has been such hard work and yet it has also been the most fun, this day was just a little reminder about how amazing it is when it is good. This was a day when I felt like maybe we are getting it right and we have the most fantastic boy to show for it.

The Ordinary Moments

Cake Central Perk

Central Park


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  • Emma lander

    Aww bless him Hayley, he is so cute. Don’t beat yourself up, you have done nothing wrong. It’s s learning curve for all of us and we do the best job we can.
    You are doing a fantastic job with 3 beautiful children x

    April 12, 2015 at 9:45 am Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Thank you Emma, that is very kind! It’s a big adjustment with more that one as I’m sure you know! xx

      April 13, 2015 at 10:03 am Reply
  • Betty and the Bumps

    My mum said one of the hardest bits of having two children, in the early days, wasn’t juggling everything and having to have eyes in the back of your head, it was trying to make sure that the first baby didn’t feel left out when the new baby arrived. When I was almost 1 my mum & dad took my brother (who was about 3) to Blackpool for a couple of days and I stayed back in Newcastle with my grandma & grandad. She felt as if the preceding year had been very much about me and she needed him to know that he was still massively massively important to her.

    Looks like you had a great time!



    April 12, 2015 at 12:22 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      That is so true, it has been hard to get used to it all. It was nice of your parents to have a bit of special time with your brother, a baby is so much more in need of your attention I think it can be hard for them to understand! We had such a fun day together xx

      April 13, 2015 at 10:06 am Reply
  • Betty and the Bumps

    Oops, I’m all mixed up with my linkies!!! I meant to say …



    April 12, 2015 at 12:25 pm Reply
  • Katie @mummydaddyme

    Aw it sounds like a perfect day out just the two of you- obviously i don’t have twins but I know how hard it is to get one on one time with your children, even with just two of them. These are the kind of moments he will remember for years to come. xx

    April 12, 2015 at 6:44 pm Reply
  • Carie

    Oh that’s such a lovely post Hayley, and I know exactly what you mean about trying to find time for each child to get all the attention they need, it’s a bit of a juggling act with three but it sounds like you’ve got it figured out. Hopefully as he gets used to the baby brothers everything will even out a bit more.

    April 12, 2015 at 8:39 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Thanks Carie, I wouldn’t change it but sometimes I forget how much his life has changed! I think it will get easier as they get older too!

      April 13, 2015 at 10:07 am Reply
  • Hayley

    Those days are what make it all worthwhile 🙂
    I’m originally from Liverpool and your post has made me homesick! I LOVE Central Perk…though I envy you getting to sit on the orange sofa!! I;ve been countless times and have never managed to get near it lol xx

    April 12, 2015 at 10:16 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Ahh really?! I just love Liverpool and Central Perk, it was so quiet in there but they have opened another on Bold Street so I think that’s why we were able to nab the orange sofa…it was good! xx

      April 13, 2015 at 10:08 am Reply
  • Sarah Christie

    Ah Hayley, Jack was exactly like Lucas, very strong willed and confident and I only had him up until 5. But he is growing into such a chilled teen, and now I am so glad he has that confidence. Looks like you had a lovely day, great photos x

    April 12, 2015 at 11:19 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      My husband said to me that he thinks he might be more chilled as he’s older, he’s just getting it all out the way now! Haha, I hope so! It’s nice that they keep that confidence too xx

      April 13, 2015 at 10:09 am Reply
  • You Baby Me Mummy

    Looks like a lovely day huni. You are awesome, don’t forget it. Lucas sounds like Baby, headstrong, fiercely independent! xx

    April 13, 2015 at 8:02 am Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Thank you Aby, that’s really sweet of you! xx

      April 13, 2015 at 10:10 am Reply
  • mummyofboygirltwins

    Aww bless glad you had fun! I bet it’s not easy with three so little, and I guess he often needs your attention but then the twins need to come first! Hard!! However you’re doing a great job and I am sure he will mellow a little soon. Then you’ll miss those crazy days!! Lovely post and fab photo’s xxx

    April 13, 2015 at 5:22 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      I think you are right and he will mellow out, this age is just so much change and he can be so emotional. The twins are so much more laid back that he ever was, it’s funny to see the difference! xx

      April 20, 2015 at 9:30 am Reply
  • Mrs H

    Such lovely photographs. It looks like you had great fun. It is always lovely when you go out and the little ones are a complete delight to be around. Lucas sounds like a wonderful boy (even if he might be hard work sometimes). Hugs Mrs H xxxx

    April 13, 2015 at 9:50 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Thank Lucy, he is truly wonderful but always a challenge! I don’t mind so much as I know he’ll grow up confident which I never was xx

      April 20, 2015 at 9:31 am Reply
  • Notmyyearoff

    We didn’t have the terrible two’s so much but the Threenager phase (and the 4’s) have come with a vengeance. Its like having a proper teen sometimes. You are doing an amazing job with all 3. JUST the one is difficult and you multiply that by 3 and there’s probably never much rest xx I have no idea how I’ll balance two 🙂

    April 14, 2015 at 3:38 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      He is just like a proper teen, somedays I expect him to slam the door and storm off! Tas you will be fantastic with two, at least Z is that bit older so you can make time for both of them! xx

      April 20, 2015 at 9:29 am Reply

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