When September Comes

July 18, 2015

When Sept Comes When September comes I know it will be hard. The actual day that Lucas starts school isn’t that scary; we’ve been going there nearly everyday for the last year. Every afternoon we have walked to the school gates and he has gone into nursery without a care. He has enjoyed it, he has made friends and already become a part of that school community. I have no worries about the school as I know it is the right place for him. And yet, when I think of that day my stomach flips. All the logic goes out of my head and I can see the bigger picture. It is overwhelming to think that this is the start; it is the start of a world without me, a place I don’t have much input in, somewhere for him to develop without my influence. He will go into school that day and won’t even be aware that this is the start of such a huge part of his young life. That’s the role of the parent, we’ll oversee this journey for them and carry the burdens, try to keep them innocent and let them enjoy it for as long as they can. Then he can just see the fun, the new classroom, the new teacher, new friends, the excitement of learning and seeing the world differently. It’s harder than I thought it would be to let go and encourage the independence. It is something that I know must happen but still I don’t feel quite ready for it. I am trying instead to think of something else. When September comes it is a special time for me and the twins. I am able to give them something they have in very limited supply: me. Being the younger child means that they never know that feeling of having a parent all to themselves, unfortunately when you have twins that really isn’t an option but at least having the whole day with them is something different. A whole day to do something they would love to do. When I think of everything I did with Lucas at this age I am ashamed to admit that the twins haven’t had even half of those experiences. We don’t actually go anywhere because our day is split up with the walk to school, eating, getting ready and it leaves little time for anything else. I want to start taking them to playgroups, to the library and we can can go up to the park and have a run round. As soon as we drop Lucas off at school we have the whole day to do as we please. I can actually be with them more without having to divide my attention and I’ll see things that I’ve been missing in the dash to get out the house on time. As I get ready to send Lucas off to school I am even more aware of how much I have enjoyed spending my days with him. It isn’t always easy and some days I count down the minutes until bedtime though gritted teeth but being the one to watch him grow has been something I will forever be grateful for. These years before school won’t come again and they pass quicker than you realise. I hope I have made the most of them with Lucas and I’ll try my best to do the same with the twins. That’s why when September comes I do actually have something amazing to look forward to. It is my time with the twins, our chance to get out explore new things, the make memories but also out time to slow down and just be together.

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  • Karen

    It’s so nice to read that someone else feels this way. My girl is ready for full time school but I’m struggling. But you’ve made me realise the fun I can have with her little brother and get to know him more. Thank you, beautifully articulated post x

    July 18, 2015 at 7:06 pm Reply
  • Natalie

    Will be thinking of you when that day comes Hayley, it will be my turn next September and already I am nervous about it!

    July 18, 2015 at 10:02 pm Reply
  • SArah Christie

    Hayley so lovely, School is so exciting Lucas will love every minute of it, it is wonderful that you will more time to spend with the boys too. Before you know it it has all flown by so make lots of memories lovely x

    July 19, 2015 at 9:56 pm Reply
  • Donna

    I’m looking at it just like you. I am really looking forward to 1 on 1 time with Little Man, a whole year of it! He’s never had that, and I’ve never had that with him yet LP had 20 months of me to herself, and I had those 20 months with just her so this year of Little Man and I will be lovely. But the thought of not seeing LP for the majority of the week makes me feel like my heart has been jumped on. I know I’ll get used to it though! Let’s hope September doesn’t come too quickly x

    July 19, 2015 at 10:09 pm Reply
  • Kerry

    It’s hard when they start school. Charlie started two years ago and Noah starts this year. I feel Noah missed out on doing more fun things because we were in and out all day because of taking Charlie to school & his preschool sessions starting at 12.45. I hope you enjoy your time having fun with the twins! Xxx #ShareWithMe

    July 22, 2015 at 12:07 pm Reply
  • Sara | mumturnedmom

    Beautiful post, and I really do think that’s the perfect way to look at it. Although I’m about to send my youngest to preschool and will have four mornings to myself… not quite sure what I’m going to do! #sharewithme

    July 22, 2015 at 6:57 pm Reply
  • Jenny

    It’s going to be so new to all of us that have little ones starting september and giving the younger siblings finally time with mommy solo. It’s excited all the same. I am looking forward to it being just me and MM and see where our adventures take us like they had done with B when he was little. The twins will love it too hun. Great post. Lovely photo. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me, I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme

    July 29, 2015 at 4:20 am Reply
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