Feeling Adrift, Fresh Starts and Autumn Heather

September 3, 2015



I had planned this post to be about updating our garden for Autumn, and it still is a little bit but somehow it has become more about other things. There seems to be so much happening at the moment, for one reason or another the last year has been pretty hectic. Part of me thinks that when the twins were little we powered through, knowing it would be hard and tiring, we just kept going. Now it is getting a little easier it’s almost like I’ve lost the momentum. I’m the mum who tries to do it all and ends up doing nothing very well. It seems at the moment that I can’t just set my mind to something and get it done…it is frustrating. This summer has been great fun, I feel like we have really enjoyed being together as the last last couple of years we had tiny babies or I was uncomfortably pregnant with twins. It has also been non-stop and there has been no time to even think or carve out a bit of time for myself.

Added to that my emotions over Lucas starting school have really took me by surprise. It’s far more over-whelming than I thought it would be. I still keep wondering if it is the right time for him, as I’ve written before he is an August baby and I wasn’t sure whether to delay his entrance into reception. We decided against it in the end but some days I still wonder. While I can’t deny I’m looking forward to getting our old routine back; I’ll be glad to get back to doing to school walk twice a day and I am even excited for him as I know he will have fun but the truth is I am just simply going to miss him. Somehow it doesn’t seem right that he won’t be here. There isn’t anything I can do about that other than give him a big hug when he goes into that classroom and be there when he comes out.

And then there is blogging, something I love, something I could never give up but at the moment it is just making my head spin. I have so many ideas whizzing round that I can’t find the time to write about, or at least in a way that makes sense. The blogging world seems to be changing, the competition is fierce and the pressure to keep up the posts, keep on plugging away, make sure all your blog is up to date is never ending. Trying to remember what I loved about blogging in the first place is something that has been in my head for while. I need a bit of time to fix that, to do a bit of work and updating behind the scenes and come back feeling fresh.

Basically, it’s time for a little break, just a week or so off so I can be there for Lucas as he starts school. I need my wits about me for his first day and while I’m sure blogging about it would be cathartic, I think just experiencing it is enough for me at the moment, and a photo or two on Instagram obviously. I want to enjoy my days with the twins. and find some new things for us to do just the three of us. I want to spend my evenings relaxing, getting back to my yoga class, reading, crocheting, watching films with my husband. I want to work on my blog, make it feel like it is a space for me again.

And, just so this post doesn’t sound too glum here are some pictures of the pretty Autumn heather and bedding plants we popped into the garden last week. The signs that Autumn is on the horizon never fails to cheer me up, for those people who are Autumn-lovers it almost seems like a way of life rather than a season. Something about this time of year makes me feel so settled yet creative – I think it is the season for those natural homebirds, who like nothing better than a night in, curled up with a good book, pyjamas on while the rain beats on the windows. I plan to spend a week doing just that.

Autumn Garden
Gardening Hands


Autumn Flowerbeds

Twins Garden

Autumn Heather

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  • mummyofboygirltwins

    Hayley I think it’s that time of year. For reflection and new beginnings. September does that to us all. A little time off to enjoy and get used to the new routine and him settling at school is a fab idea. You’ll be full of new ideas and motivation again soon. On your blog, well I think your blog is amazing. You really do speak from the heart and I LOVE reading it. It is perfect – and every post makes me feel warm inside as your writing is so touching. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing…you need to do it for you and enjoy it otherwise it gets tedious. Hope all goes well this week, and lovely photographs as always xxxxxx

    September 3, 2015 at 11:44 am Reply
  • Hayley | Shutterflies

    Nodding my head to so much of this, I can so relate (apart from the parenting twins bit, obvs). Maybe it’s a Hayley thing? Enjoy your break x

    September 3, 2015 at 9:54 pm Reply
  • Julia @ Rainbeaubelle

    It is good to have a break, I have had quite a few lately and just been posting once a week. It can get too much can’t it even though I absolutely love it and find it therapeutic! In January one of my resolutions was to start crochet but who knew it would be this kind of year! One day I will. Enjoy a few relaxing Autumn days and evenings xxx

    September 4, 2015 at 8:41 pm Reply
  • Katie @mummydaddyme

    I think it’s definitely that time of year Hayley, I feel the same. I have been finding it a real pressure to keep up with my blog recently and I find it all a bit tiresome. I have been taking a break really and not blogging or even turning the computer on in the evenings. I’ve been going to bed early, having warm baths and reading my book a lot more. It’s definitely a time of year where I feel a bit reflective and just need to take a step back to appreciate things a lot more. x

    September 6, 2015 at 9:17 am Reply
  • Tina

    I hope your little break from blogging treats you well. I’ve been very very absent this summer myself but sometimes it’s needed to make sure you are truly participating and appreciating life!

    September 6, 2015 at 7:15 pm Reply
  • Katie LifeonVistaStreet Haydock

    I adore Autumn too! And I simply love winter. All the frost stops the sniffles – it tends to be drier than spring and summer and I just LOVE the colours when your out and about and the cool crisp mornings.
    Keep your chin up darling, you’re doing the right thing by Lucas and you’ll soon get into the swing of it again… in time for half term. 😉

    September 12, 2015 at 8:40 pm Reply
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