I feel like I haven’t really had a handle on this last week; things seemed to be slipping out of my control and it feels like I’m always playing catch up. I think that on the whole having the twins has been easier than I expected but every now and then things catch up with me and I feel like I can’t give enough to each child. It always seems to be Lucas who bears the brunt of it because he is the most independent.
The last few weeks we’ve had moments of the terrible twos; complete meltdowns happen before our eyes over the most unbelievable things. Socks and pyjamas seem to have been problems this week; utter horror at any socks I offer him and the cries when I just pick a pair from him to wear. Every set of pyjamas I get out are met with the same hysterics and I could go on. I feel like I’m looking for my happy little boy and wishing that this phase would just end but then there is the awful guilt that part of it is my fault; he has been truly amazing with the twins arrival but I think the novelty is wearing off. He is still brilliant with the babies but it seems like I only ever say, ‘no’ or ‘wait a moment’ or ‘I’ll just do this then I’ll play’ and it has left him well and truly fed up and determined to cause havoc. Would this phase have happened anyway…probably? It just seems harder to deal with when I don’t get to spend that quality time with him.
He gets out and about a lot with family and I know he is well behaved for them. I felt like this week has been almost a cry for help! He wants to spend some time with me out and about, not stuck in the house while I busy around him occasionally grabbing five minutes to play. I knew that we needed to put some time aside for him and get out the house. Even so we didn’t do anything wildly exciting but it has seemed to do the trick for all of us. He had his first hairdressers haircut booked for Saturday morning. Of course I was dreading it so we’d had a chat about being good at the hairdressers and I shamelessly offered the lure of a treat if he was good.
As always he surprises me when I least expect it; he woke up the happiest he’s been in a few days and was brilliant in the hairdressers. My mum came round to watch the twins and we took him out to get his treat (a train and a mad run round the toy shop) and stopped for lunch with just the three of us. He behaved perfectly and I couldn’t have been more proud of him; we spent lunch playing with his new train, chatting about all sorts and sharing a ice cream. We snapped a few (terrible quality) iPhone photos but they’ve captured the day and that’s all that counts. Before bed I told him what a lovely day I had had and asked if he had had a nice day. ‘Yeah’ was all he said before the best bedtime, story time and lovely cuddles we’ve had in weeks. A day like this reminds me why I keep going through the tough weeks, my love for him is endless.