19 Comments

  1. I agree with the quote. Sometimes I treat them as one and other times I treat them separately however I’m not worried either. Maybe mine being a boy & girl will mean more individuality as time goes on – who knows? Yours will fight at times but then be and be best friends forever which is pretty special. Great post xx

    • Thanks Jess, I think that’s the way. This is totally unknown for me so I’m just going to do what feels right for us. I suppose with a boy and a girl they will naturally develop differently but I just love that they will be friends forever too xx

  2. I can completely identify with everything you are saying here. Mine are identical boys, aged 19 months. I am finding that their individuality is emerging daily at the minute as they try to say their own words and they do naturally like doing their own thing. Harry likes cuddles and sitting with mummy while Matthew prefers to be independent and strong willed. I agree, no days out on their own. I couldn’t bare that. We’re just differing on the ‘the twins’ part. Mine are always called the babies-never the twins. Loved reading your post.

    • Thank you. Yes we sometimes call them the babies too although I suppose that will have to stop eventually, I think we started saying that to their older brother and it just stuck. Interesting to see what it is like when they get older and especially when they start to talk more, must be fun!

  3. what a lovely post, I have two sets of twins in the family so have seen first hand what life with twins can be like, double the work but double the cuteness too. I guess as their personalities develop they may become more individual anyway but it must be so special for them to have that twin bond. X

    • Thanks Julia, that’s exactly it and I’m happy for them to just develop at their own pace, I don’t feel like I need to force the individuality upon them, not yet anyway! Wow, two sets of twins that must be fun when you all get together! xx

  4. All I can say is – don’t stress it. What will be will be. You seem like a wonderful Mum and you do the best for your boys in every single way. Whether you do things with them together or try and encourage individuality your boys will find their own paths. Just keep doing what you’re doing and all will turn out just perfectly x

    • Thank you Donna, that is really very kind of you! I think now they are getting older I’m just finding different things to worry about and it is something I often wonder about as they get older. xx

  5. Hayley, this is a beautifully written post. I can understand your fears. But I think it sounds like you are doing everything right. There will be plenty of time to encourage their individuality when they are older. I must admit, that paragraph about the special bond they have as twins is wonderful. It made me yearn for twins. That bond and relationship that Arthur and Brandon have must be a lovely thing for a mother to behold. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

    • Thank you so much. That’s exactly what I love about twins, seeing all those little moments they have together. It really makes all the hard work worth it! I know things will change as they get older but I just would hate for that to go. It’s the same with all children I think though, as they get older we just find different things to worry about! xx

  6. I feel like once they are a little older they’ll have such different personalities (I know you’ve said they do now but you know what I mean haha) that lead them to different hobbies and then later different after school activities and stuff like that so you’ll definitely give them more individual attention! Maybe only one boy will like sports and so you’ll be hanging out with the other while they’re at practice! Haha I don’t know, things like that. And you can do one cake but decorate each side different 😉 You’re such a good mom, they definitely would never feel left behind!!!!

    • Aww thanks Tina, that’s really sweet. I will definitely make a cake like that one year, would be so funny to have each side different! It’s strange to imagine them all grown up though but I think that’s the same for everyone, must be the same for you and Lyla too xx

  7. A really interesting post to read Hayley as it is something that I guess is really important when raising twins. I guess their personalities will really develop in time and as they get older. For now I guess it is just adorable really seeing them as twins and as being similar. x

  8. I relate to everything you’ve said here — apart from we call our boys The Twinkles or The Babies!

    That said, Bertie and Cosmo are so very different it makes it easier to treat them as individuals. It just goes to show that the ‘nature’ of a child is very much dominant over ‘nurture’; given my two are being brought up exactly the same way. I love how different they are — not just their hair and skin colour but their personalities. Being a parent of multiples is such a privilege — I feel honoured to have front row seats in watching these two little personalities develop. We twin-mamas are so lucky 🙂 #multiplemadness

  9. A lovely post. I’m not an expert on identical twins but I do have 2 year-old boy girl twins. As their mum I think you know what’s right for them and if they want to be together and enjoy each others company there is no need to force individuality on them.

  10. I ditto your thoughts Hayley. As a mom of twin boys I too have worried about their individuality. Still practically couldn’t resist from doing certain things the same way for both of them . I think as they grow older, they will start showing their independent personalities. Until then we can celebrate their special bond ‘Twins’ 🙂

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