Twin Questions – Just In Case You Were Wondering…

August 20, 2015

 

Twin Questions

It seems that having children opens you up to a whole world of questioning that doesn’t exist pre-kids. People will stop you on the street to admire your little ones and make conversation. When you have twins this line of interrogation only gets more brutal to the point where if I am in a rush to get anywhere I try not to make eye contact as it really does slow me down. And yet, I totally understand it, twins are fascinating! I thought so before I had my own and many others obviously think the same. I can’t even really begrudge the questions they ask, however stupid they seem they were probably things I would have wanted to know myself. Here are some of the twin questions I am asked most often and my responses in a much more eloquent form that you’d get if you ran into me on the street.

How do you tell them apart?

This is probably the question I am asked most often and truthfully I don’t have a direct answer. I’m sure it is a frustrating response but I just know, I am their Mother. There is nothing I can point out that a stranger would spot and be able to tell the difference, no defining feature or birth mark. Sometimes I need both of them in front of me to tell them apart and often I need to see their full face but I’m pretty confident I could always tell the difference now.

I know they are identical but are they REALLY identical?

I’ve heard this a few times and I take it to mean, ‘I know they look identical but are they biologically identical twins?’ as some non-identical twins look just as similar. The answer is yes…they look identical and they are identical.

Do they have twin telepathy?

I really have no idea, obviously I wouldn’t know. However, there are moments when I can spot little things which show they are on the same wavelength. They do seem to know if the other is hurt and I have seen one rub his head where the other has banged it. Also if one is given a biscuit in the kitchen the other will always come running in to make sure he doesn’t miss out.

Do they sleep together?

Ever since they came into this world they have slept as close together as possible. We were lucky that neither of them needed any special care so they have always been together. Right from the start the midwives placed them in the same little hospital cot side by side. At home they slept side by side in the crib, then one either end when they grew too big for that. After that they were side by side in a big cot, one either end then finally they were too big and had to go into separate cots. I was so sad to separate them that first time, it felt so unnatural to me but the time had come and they needed the extra room. We have kept the cots side by side and now in an L-shape so they have never spent a night without the other close by.

Do they have similar personalities?

This is another difficult one to answer – I’m seeing more differences as they get older but I wouldn’t say they are chalk and cheese. I think it is more that their differences compliment each other so they never seem like they are poles apart. Bear is definitely the more laid back twin and Boo is generally more sociable with others. They can both be outgoing but Bear is more fearless when it comes to trying something new. I wouldn’t say either of them is the ‘dominant twin’ yet, they both have their moments but I don’t see any sign of one thinking they are the boss.

Do you need two of everything?

No! Of course there are the obvious things like car seats, cots when they get too big to share but we don’t have two of everything. There is so much you don’t actually need for the short time it would be of use to you. We very rarely buy them the same toys either; apart from their soft toy ‘Hoppity’, I can’t think of any toy we have bought in duplicate. They have learnt to share at a much earlier age than Lucas did!

Do twins run in your family?

I always answer no to this which isn’t strictly true but it is the short version. I didn’t realise before I had twins myself that identical twins don’t actually run in families; there are no increased chances of having them if there are other multiples in your family, it is completely random. There are in fact two sets of non-identical twins in my family but as this has no bearing on my own twins I tend not to explain that to people.

Will you have another?

People love to ask me this, I imagine they are expecting me to shriek in horror at the thought of more! The truth is I would have another, even if it was to be another set of twins (the chances are increased once you’ve had one set). Practically I know we can’t, our little house is full as it is and now would not be the right time to add to our family. Still, I would never say never but if they ask my husband they may get a different response!

Twin Questions - The answers you've always wanted to know about raising twins.

 

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17 Comments

  • Donna

    I love this post. I have twins in both sides of my family and feel like I should have had twins really by now! I think if we had another it would probably be twins! x

    August 20, 2015 at 10:47 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Obviously I think twins are amazing, so I think you should have twins too 🙂 xx

      August 21, 2015 at 10:59 am Reply
  • SArah Christie

    Aw what a lovely post Hayley, I am so guilty of asking twin questions but only because it fascinates me so much. All of your boys are just so beautiful xx

    August 20, 2015 at 11:58 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      I don’t mind the questions because I would be just the same…these are the nicest ones I’ve been asked, there are a few that are pretty inconsiderate but these ones are fine xx

      August 21, 2015 at 11:00 am Reply
  • Mary @TheHeartyLife

    Loved reading this Hayley and your answers…so funny! Twins are mint and its so funny the things people say because you produced 2!

    My sister and sister in law both had identical twins within a year of one another so obs 2 sets in the family now and I love hearing the things people ask them..I wonder if they realise what great entertainment they are providing!
    My faves (which I am sure you’ve had) “Were they IVF?” (sorry is that your place to ask how I conceived) “are they twins?” (my SIL is always like “errr no just thought id get 2 babies close together”) and then of course all of the above!!!

    Your boys are fab and you are doing great – x

    August 21, 2015 at 9:24 am Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Oh wow, so many twins in your family! There seem to be so much more about now, must be so much fun when all your family get together. I am always asked ‘are they twins?’ I get it if they don’t look a like but mine are just like little duplicate children so quite clearly twins. I haven’t had anyone ask directly if they are IVF but I know my MIL told me some people had asked her! It makes me sad to think they would ask someone who had had to go through all that, they don’t realise if they wanted you to know they would have told you!! xx

      August 21, 2015 at 11:03 am Reply
  • mummyofboygirltwins

    I love this post. So interesting, and great to compare mine (even though mine are a boy & girl!). Your boys sound very close and sweet. Harry & Lottie have such an amazing bond, and can’t even play in separate rooms. Even though they fight a lot they always seem to migrate to the same space 🙂 Jess xx

    August 21, 2015 at 11:25 am Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Oh I love that Jess that they still play together even as they get older. It’s funny isn’t it how much they have little squabbles but they are always quickly forgotten. I think I’m even more interested in other twins now I’ve had them myself, always so interesting xx

      August 21, 2015 at 3:06 pm Reply
  • Katie @mummydaddyme

    I love this post so much Hayley because it was great to get an insight into twins. These are questions I must admit I have asked people in the past too! x

    August 22, 2015 at 9:28 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Thanks Katie, nothing wrong with asking questions!! There are the nicest ones I’ve been asked though 🙂 xx

      August 25, 2015 at 4:07 pm Reply
  • Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely

    I love this post, Hayley. Twins are so fascinating. I guess everyone asks or wants to know about them because they’re so rare, especially identical twins.

    August 23, 2015 at 6:03 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      I think that’s it isn’t it, people often ask me about them and then tell me about twins in their family or twins they know. I love it, like a little club 🙂

      August 25, 2015 at 4:10 pm Reply
  • Notmyyearoff

    This is a rely interesting read. I know 4 pairs of identical twins and there’s a lot here that I see in them. One always seems to be more sociable and the other a bit more laid back. My good friend is having fraternal twins and she’s already getting questions about twins being in her family etc etc. Hers are IVF ones 🙂

    August 23, 2015 at 8:47 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Wow, four pairs! I only knew one pair of twins growing up and they really were identical. Hope your friend is doing well with her pregnancy 🙂

      August 25, 2015 at 4:11 pm Reply
  • Kat | Beau Twins

    Having identical twins is a whole new world. I get asked ALL the time if mine are identical – I literally have no idea how in the world they think they look the same. I always say, obvs they look like sisters but they are TOTALLY different. My one bugbear question is “Are they twins?” I wrote a post on it. Ask me anything about twins but don’t ask me if they are twins. Although, stranger things have happened at sea – but it’s generally blindingly obvious they are. Like you, I would so have more – another set of twins would be AWESOME although I need to be in a relationship for that! lol! FAB post beautiful. xxx

    August 23, 2015 at 8:57 pm Reply
    • hayleyfromhome

      Thank you lovely. You don’t know what the future holds, I have no doubt that a good relationship is in yours and you never know what that could lead to. I’m sure people think I’m mad when I say another set of twins wouldn’t phase me 🙂 Your girls are so beautiful, I know I’ve only seen photos of them but they do look similar to me. It’s the same with my boys, to me they look totally different but no one else can tell them apart! xxx

      August 25, 2015 at 4:15 pm Reply
  • BeccaM

    What a lovely post! It’s funny really, I never had much of a fascination about twins myself. I have a few friends who are twins but it’s not something I ever really wondered about.

    Now that I’ve found out I’m pregnant with twins I feel much more intrigued! I’m already mentally preparing myself for all the questions! But I can understand why people are so fascinated. I can’t quite believe my bodies managing to produce two humans at once! One seemed miracle enough! Reading posts like this just makes me even more eager to meet my little ones and discover their personalities. So exciting!

    July 14, 2016 at 9:33 am Reply
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